


Helpless and Hopeless

by ink_writes16



Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, I wrote this at 2 am so enjoy, M/M, Pre-buck begins, buddie, i just needed this ya know?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-22
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-14 21:01:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29424969
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ink_writes16/pseuds/ink_writes16
Summary: Buck gets stuck in a five alarm fire. Eddie can't do anything and he is starting to understand why Buck stole the firetruck back in Texas.
Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz
Comments: 6
Kudos: 211
Collections: 9-1-1 Tales





	Helpless and Hopeless

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this BEFORE the buck begins episode but after “What’s your grievance?” And I doubt they’re going to give us the buddie content we deserve so thats why im here. I wrote this at two am so bear with me

Eddie sat on the edge of the ambulance, wringing his hands and staring at a rock on the ground. All the sirens and voices and footsteps and radio static and crackling fire were lost on him. Everything was lost on him.

Except for Buck.

His thoughts always came back to the dumbass who wouldn’t leave and was now stuck in a five alarm fire.

His thoughts always came back to the person who helped him build a skateboard for his son who felt left out.

The person who protected his son with his own life during the tsunami.

And here he was, sitting on the edge of the ambulance, a vehicle of help and hope.

Helpless and hopeless.

He took a shuddering breath and slammed his hand against the floor of the truck. He made his way to the command tent and stopped in front of Bobby.

“Cap, you gotta let me go in there. I can find him.”

“Diaz-“

“He’d do the same for you, or me, or Hen, or Chimney.”

“Eddie,” Bobby said firmly. “I am telling you the same thing I would tell him: you cannot go in there.” Eddie started to protest but Bobby shook his head. “You and I both know the structure is compromised and it could collapse any minute.”

“It could come down on _him_ ,” he said. “And if that happens we have less of a chance at finding him. You know that.”

Bobby watched him for a moment then sighed. “I’ll send in a team, but no one from the 118.” He added the last part and Eddie’s face fell.

“Cap-“

“I need medics out here and I don’t need anyone doing anything stupid.”

“I am not a paramedic- _please_ , don’t sideline me.”

“Eddie, I need you out here when we bring him out, he’ll want you to be there. Not in the fire.”

“I need to be the one to find him,” Eddie pleaded. “After all he’s done for me, for Christopher, I _need_ to do this.”

“If you can’t focus enough to triage then you need to sit this out.”

“ _Bobby_ -“

“Go.”

Eddie glared at him but left the tent, glancing over at the building. Something caught his attention and he stopped.

“Buck?”

A silhouette was moving from the fire, carrying something.

“ _Buck_!” Eddie sprinted toward the figure. “Someone bring me a back board!”

Chimney and Hen met him there and helped get the victim on the gurney.

Buck collapsed against Eddie, making him stumble a little, his arms under Buck’s.

“I... I got em, Eddie...”

“I know, I know,” Eddie said softly, “we have to get you up, Buck, c’mon.”

He helped Buck stand, the latter leaning heavily against him. Bobby met them halfway, supporting Buck from the other side.

“Maddie...she’s gonna kill me...” Buck said quietly.

Eddie smiled and shook his head. “Let’s make sure the fire doesn’t do that first, yeah?”

Buck nodded lazily and they sat him on the same step Eddie had been on minutes before.

Eddie tuned everything out again and suddenly he was in the street, kneeling over his bleeding soon-to-be ex-wife instead of on the edge of the ambulance with Buck.

“Eddie.”

He met Bobby’s eyes and took a breath. “I’m ready, Cap. Tell me what to do.”

“Just...be here,” Bobby said in a softer voice; Eddie nodded.

“His O2 levels are low, pupils equally reactive, no signs of head trauma, pulse steady,” Hen reported, putting an oxygen mask over Buck’s head, who tried to wave her off. “Boy, you try to stop me again and see what happens."

He sighed and Eddie bumped his shoulder with his own.

“Let her work, Buck,” Eddie said, “we all want to make sure you’re okay.”

Buck looked up at him; he reached up to take the mask off to say something but Hen raised an eyebrow challengingly. He raised his hands in surrender, leaning into Eddie’s shoulder, trying to convey the words he wanted to say. Eddie smiled and looked down at his hands.

“Hen, I can take him from here,” Eddie offered.

“He needs that O2, Diaz,” she said.

“I will make sure he uses it,” he promised. “You know he doesn’t like all the fuss.”

“Yeah, well, maybe he should think about that before he gets trapped in a burning building.'

Buck furrowed his brows, the way he always did before he said something sarcastic; he was probably going to make a remark about what happened in Texas.

“Hen, please.” She looked between them warily. “I’ll call for you if anything happens.”

“Fine,” she sighed. “The _moment_ anything happens-“

“I will get you, mother Hen, don’t worry.”

She rolled her eyes at the name but Eddie could see a hint of a smile as she turned to leave. When she was out of earshot, Eddie shook his head.

“You’re an idiot, Buckley,” he said, not looking at him.

“I know,” Buck said, his voice raspier than normal. “But I tried, ya know?”

“I do,” he nodded.

“...Eddie, look at me.”

He didn’t; instead, he watched Chimney do the check up for the worker that Buck saved.

“You are one of the most important people in my kid’s life,” Eddie started. “Which makes you important to both of us.”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Chris has already lost so much, he can’t lose you, too. You can’t do that to him.”

There was a moment of silence.

“Is this about Chris or about you?”

Eddie looked at him, a confused look on his face. Buck clenched his jaw and put the mask back to his face, taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry, Eddie,” he said, “I wasn’t-...” He trailed off and turned away. Eddie heard him sniffle and he softened.

“Hey, hey, come here,” he said quietly, pulling him into a hug. Buck pressed his face against Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie was secretly glad he’d taken his turncoat off. “Breathe, Buck, it’s okay.”

“I’m sorry...” Buck muttered against him, gripping his shirt.

“It’s okay, its alright. Breathe, Buck.” He felt him take a deep breath. “Good, see? It’s alright.”

Buck pulled back a bit. “Can I stay your place tonight? If not it’s- it’s fine, I just- I don’t want to be home by myself.”

“My place is always open to you, Buck, you know that.”

Buck smiled and took a breath from the O2 mask again. “I really just want to see Christopher,” he teased. “You being there is just an added bonus.”

Eddie laughed and was thankful for the dark that houses his blush.

 _Helpless and hopeless_ , he thought, with a small smile.

“But seriously, Eddie, thank you. For being here.”

“I’m always here, Buck.”

“I know, that’s what I mean. You’re always there to pull me out of bad things. The day of the tsunami, you were the only one who got me out of my head. After my parents, you were there, after Maddie told me about...” he sighed. “You were there. You’re always there when I need you.”

“I’d be a pretty terrible best friend if I wasn’t.”

Buck opened his mouth to say something but let out a quiet laugh. “Yeah, I guess...”

He started coughing and Eddie put the mask back up to his face.

“Alright, we’re going to get into the ambulance and close the door, okay? The smoke in the air out here isn’t helping.”

Buck nodded and Eddie helped him onto the bench inside and closed the doors, settling in opposite him. There was a long silence before either of them spoke up.

“I don’t want you to be my best friend,” Buck said in a quiet voice. Eddie raised his eyebrows.

“It’s-It’s a little late for that, Buck...”

“No, I mean... I want you to be...I dunno, I dunno what I want but I...”

Eddie sat forward a bit. “I don’t get what you’re saying.”

Buck studied him for a moment; he looked like he was trying to decide something. And, evidently, he did make a decision, because he put his hand on the back of Eddie’s neck and pulled him into a chaste kiss. Buck moved back first, probably to try and gauge Eddie’s reaction.

Eddie sat still for a moment. “Evan Buckley, was that your way of asking me out?” Buck smiled a little and shrugged. “Cause you picked one hell of a time to do it; what took you so long?”

“What took _me_ so long?”


End file.
